Do you get excited at the thought of Jordan's impossibly huge breasts bouncing while she has sex? Have you watched Nikki Grahame on Big Brother (with the sound turned down obviously, no-one could possibly fantasise about that screechy voice) and wondered what she looks like in the buff? Did you see Holly Clements come second in Ladette to Lady last week - and wonder if she actually cums first in the bedroom?
This new compilation answers those questions by putting the intimate moments of five gorgeous tabloid favourites together in one movie.
Three scenes are the 'sex tapes' you've read about in the red-tops, the other two contain brand new, if rather brief, footage.
Jordan's up first, sitting on the edge of one of those whirlpool bathtubs, starkers. There's plenty of pussy play, and as she slides in a finger and works it round, she's staring, almost glaring, straight at the camera. A todger appears, it belongs to the cameraman, and Miss Price gives it a brief lick and a stroke, then we're on her bed as she whips a silver vibrator out of her handbag and rubs it up and down the crotchless panties she's now wearing. Finally, vibrator still buzzing away on her pussy, the same cock burrows its way in alongside. And as the camera pans up to her face - quite how it stays in focus is remarkable, when you consider all the other things on the cameraman's mind - she's still glaring blankly at the lens. But who cares, those amazing jugs are bouncing and heaving all over the place with every thrust.
Scene two sees lads mag favourite and John Leslie's former arm-candy Abi Titmuss engaged in lesbian delights, and opens as she allows her gal pal to explore her pussy with a willing tongue. Most of the time it seems staged, with Abi very aware of the camera and how she looks, rather than allowing herself to enjoy the moment. "Is that on?" she enquires, forgetting that just seconds earlier she had self-consciously moved her playmate's arm away so it didn't block the view of her face. Later the pair engage in a luxurious French kiss, stroke each others' breasts, and Abi returns the pussy-licking favour, adding a dildo into the mix for good measure, but always staying rather detached from the action. All the while, Stevie Wonder's greatest hits are playing in the background, although, as you might expect, 'I Was Made to Love Her' doesn't feature.
Third is Big Brother's little Welsh rare bit, Imogen Thomas. After chatting to her boyfriend who's also on camera duty, the scene cuts to the bedroom, where she's sucking his cock with a slurp, and the couple proceed to an enthusiastic 69. As they get down to some rough missionary stuff, it's very sweaty, very real and a total turn-on. Imogen even takes the camera for a while, and then the pace quickens, the noise and moaning increases, and the screen fills with… what looks like an armpit! In fact it hardly matters that they're not professional camera people, there's enough of Imogen's gorgeous body on display here and enough real, unstaged sex for this to be by far the most interesting of the sex tapes.
Holly Clements, the foul-mouthed ladette who's been taught how to speak and act 'proper' at finishing school on ITV1 recently, stars in the next scene. You'll have to take my word that it IS her, the recording quality is rather lacking, but what seems to be going on is a threesome. Two guys appear to be straddling her, one with his sizeable cock in her mouth, while the other is down at the business end, ploughing her pussy manfully. The only thing she says throughout is: "Ow, you're on my hair" - this shows what a good job the first guy is doing in keeping her mouth busy, for which anyone who actually watched the TV series will be grateful.
Finally there's the briefest of appearances by another Big Brother starlet, Nikki Grahame. In a sequence of previously unseen photos, the former escort is as naked as the day is long, but has no objection to showing off a glimpse of neatly-trimmed bush, some perfectly round breasts and a flash of her cheeky smile. Nikki's painfully thin appearance caused a stir while she was in the house, but here she looks properly nourished, in fact, rather curvy and stunning. Again be thankful, this scene's completely silent.
So all-in-all a very mixed bag. Some scenes blatantly made for public consumption, others intended for private viewing only. Some girls clearly enjoying sex, others seeing it as a means to publicity and fame.
If you haven't seen a sex tape before, this compilation will show you what all the fuss is about. Whether it'll get you off depends on your off depends on your view of the girls concerned, but it'll certainly hold a degree of appeal for everyone, because deep down, we're all voyeurs.
Click Here to Watch JORDAN and other real celebrities having sex now !
